A World of Unknowns
by SweetXSacrifice
Summary: Collections of oneshots centering around Bella/Edward. Chapter 4: Set in New Moon. Edward is still gone. Jacob loves Bella and as much as she tries, Bella isn't sure she can love him the same way.
1. Chapter 1

**SOOO…this "story" is going to be a collection of one shots. So when I get stuck on my other stories, or just want to do something new, I can write a one shot. They will be however long that I come up with, and can be about anything. Though I can tell you now, they will be mostly Edward/Bella and will be inspired by some song on my ipod. Yes….it's been done, but oh well.**

**DISCLAIMER: I'm not condoning, condemning, judging, or anything else about suicide. It is in this chapter..but um. Point is, don't mean to be offensive or out of line at all. **

**Chapter 1: Wheel of the World**

The wind beats upon my scarred face. A face that time has been unkind to during its seventeen long and treacherous years. Pain, both physical and emotional, show themselves undeniably across my whole being. Standing over this tall building, I look down on the millions of Seattleites walking about, going about their day so carefree and whimsical.

Have they ever known a fraction of the tragedy that is my life? I doubt they could have withstood half of my past. My phone ringing snaps me out of my reverie. Haphazardly snatching it from my shredded pockets, the caller id reveals that it's my wonderful dad, Charlie. My jaw tenses and my hand subconsciously rubs a not so old scar on my arm. I threw part of the reason I'm so close to the edge over, enjoying the sound of the phone ricocheting off the building.

The only one I knew cared for me was ripped from me before I could even grasp the meaning of death. Renee, my beautifully naïve mother. She was so trusting and loving, and it was that trust and blind love that did her in. Charlie often took his frustrations out on my mom. Afterwards, trembling with how sorry and resentful he was over his actions. Charlie was Renee's first love, childhood sweethearts and she wanted nothing more than to believe him. So she did, and she died. With her death, Charlie substituted me for his personal therapy.

The countless beatings and berating was much more than I could bare. Several times, Charlie would come home drunk, force me to follow suit and shove drugs into me and fall back in a laughing fit. He was the police chief and there was no way out for me, no way except this ledge. I had done, see more things than I should have been privy to. Enough to realize that there isn't anything left to redeem me, nothing left that is worth living for at least.

I take a sure step forward but come to a halt when a strange breeze, colder than the surrounding air, brushes across my skin.

"What are you doing?" A warm, inviting voice beckoned me to turn around. My eyes fell on a statuesque man. If you could call him a man as he held an eerily appealing aura. Almost frightening yet deeply alluring at the same time. His deep ocher eyes that bordered between black onyx and his bronze hair stood out from his deathly pale skin. Something was telling me that I should get away from this mystery man, but what did it matter really?

I had been standing here on this building top for at least two hours, summoning up the courage to follow through. Though I admit, it wasn't a courageous act, but I just had to free myself from the shackles life has strewn on me. I wasn't surprised that no one had come before now, in some noble attempt to save me from myself. At the end of the day, they all just didn't care. Nothing I have experienced would let me believe otherwise.

"I think it's pretty obvious. Please, don't attempt to stop me." My foot edged forward, content with following through with my plan. The man attempting to thwart my goal, moves closer and I can feel his breathe tingling my skin. My heart rushes as I wonder what he has in store for me, and if I should jump before I meet a more horrific end.

"How ironic it would be for…someone like me to stop you from killing yourself." He chuckled. It was beyond me what was so funny but I was certainly not caring enough to ask. What hit me as being odd was the way he described himself.

"Yeah? Someone like you, what is that supposed to mean."

The man sighed and stood beside me, looking over the city as well. It was silent for minutes. "I came up here, drawn to your scent. I had it perfectly planned at the execution. But something about you is compelling me against that, against my very nature. You seem like such a tortured soul, empty almost. Tell me, what is troubling you so terribly that you would wish to end it."

I looked at him astonished. He was speaking as though he was granting me a lucky break. The manner in which he spoke of my scent, like he was some kind of bloodhound on the hunt for a precious jewel. Was it possible for me to possess something that would convict this odd man's heart? My mouth took on a mind of it's own and unleashed it's owners' feelings.

"I wish I was empty. The trouble is that I feel too much. And I'm tired of it all. I've come to the realization that the humanity in mankind is all but lost. A relic of the past that has been rudely covered with a cruel and malicious tint. There's nothing left for me among that, if there ever was." My eyes clamped shut and I sucked in a breathe as I felt the stranger's hands take hold of my arms

"Humanity may be dwindling in mankind, but it is very much alive elsewhere. It would be a shame and a tragedy to rob the world of a shining beacon for that."

"A tragedy if I die? How do I rob a world that has taken everything from me? It showed me no mercy, no kindness, and no love." A lone tear falls from my eye. I wasn't aware that I had any tears left for this existence.

"There's a whole new world for you to see. A new fantastic point of view, where no one will tell you no, or where to go. Just take my hand, and I promise you nothing but a wondrous and brilliant existence." He words were so reassuring and breathtaking, like a fairy tale. Looking at his outstretched hand I ponder what I should do. There's always time to die another day. Smiling nervously, I slid my hand in his instantly feeling the cold and granite skin.

"I'm Bella by the way."

"Hello Bella, I'm Edward. Come on, our new world is waiting for us!" Edward smiled excitedly, pulling me closer to him as he walked to the stairway. Idly placing my hand on his chest, I notice the lack of heartbeat. I guess only time will tell if there really is humanity alive elsewhere, far from the monstrous men the world has shown me.

**((AN: Love it hate it? Review please? Oh and…um…Edward is a vamp. Bella doesn't know, she just knows he's not human. And my inner dork came out and I used a tidbit of Aladdin- "a whole new world" at the end. :) **


	2. Chapter 2: Now I'm that Chick

**A/N: Song inspiration: Now I'm that Chick by Livvi Franc. Oh and ****Major OOC-ness!**

**Now I'm that Chick**

Today was my first day at Forks high school. I wasn't extremely social and being the new student didn't help that. The students swarmed around me like flies. I made polite small talk but nothing that would lead them on. At lunch time, Jessica Stanley tried to corner me into sitting at her table but I successfully found a detour to the bathroom.

I stayed for a few minutes, just long enough for Jessica to forget about me hopefully. Debating on whether or not to risk entering the lunch room, or jungle, I settle on waiting outside in my truck. Stepping out into the brisk air, the silence engulfs me and I welcome it. My eyes fall onto my truck and I make my way towards it.

I glance around the parking lot idly, not expecting to see Edward Cullen sitting in his car as well. It's only been a few days into my arrival but I've already heard much about the Cullen family. There seemed to be quite the stigma attached to them. People strayed from their company, not that the Cullens offered it. This was perfect, I could befriend them, and at the same time keep unwanted attention away.

Altering my route, speed up my steps and lightly tap on Edward's window. He seems surprised for one millionth of a second before the window slides down.

"Hey Edward, out here to escape the mongrels?" I smile nervous at a possible rebuke. Why should I be any different that he acts warmer to me?

"Something like that."

"Me too, how about some company?" I ask. Before I let him answer, I boldly open the door and plop myself into the passenger side seat. His expression is priceless. Edward just stares at me shocked. He recovers eventually and flips his head forward.

"Debussy. I thought I was the only 17 year old that liked them, that's cool."

"Yeah, well I think you still are." Edward replied coolly with his mouth curving in a crooked smirk. Shrugging off the curiosity I felt at his remark, I fish around for more things to say. He breaks the silence first.

"So tell me Bella, do you always invite yourself in to stranger's cars, or am I just the privileged fellow today?" a hint of humor colored Edward's voice but his body language was still somewhat tense.

"Well last week, I actually saw this older man, about 34, and knew I just had to see what it felt like to sit next to him." I laughed and he followed suit. I was surprised at how easy and natural this felt, maybe this friendship of convenience I was aiming to mold could actually be a genuine friendship.

"Really though, I'm not that big on being in the public eye, and I know you aren't either. So I figured we could combine forces and be untouchable. Oh, I know, there's no need to commend me on my insane brilliance." I smiled, and this time Edward seemed to relax further.

Edward shot his eyes to his clock and then to me. "Sounds like a plan. Come on, I'll walk with you to Biology."

Before I answered, he already was out of his car, making his way to my side. Opening it up, he held out his hand to help me up. Taking it readily, I'm surprised to feel it's cold, marble against my own hand. Looking at him, I smile reassuringly into his warm amber eyes.

"Let's go learn about worms!" I yell in mock enthusiasm.

The next two months pass by smoothly. I have even become friends with the rest of Edward's family. Well, I guess it would be more like well known acquaintances but, that was fine with me. The other part of my plan had worked out beautifully. No one had done more than give me a passing greeting.

"Did you hear about that bear attack? Killed my dad's friend Waylan, he's real tore up about it." I fell down in the lunch room table. Everyone tensed up, oddly enough at my mentioning the attack.

"Really? That's terrible. Give my condolences to your father for me." Alice's cold hand touched my shoulder. That was another odd thing about the Cullen family, they all had the same "mood ring" eyes and cold skin. Something told me not to question it and I wasn't going to go near that with a ten foot pole.

**Alice POV:**

Right after Bella told us about the bear attack, I had a vision that involved all of us. Edward glanced at me warily. I had to talk to him immediately about this.

"Edward, I need you to look at my car before lunch is over. I think there is something wrong with the radiator." I stood up and waited for him to do the same.

"Well, see you later Bella!" I waved before walking away. I leaned against the wall outside the cafeteria and listened to Edward excusing himself.

"It's probably nothing, see you in bio Bella." Edward surfaced seconds later. We walked off further from the school, still close enough for Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie to hear us.

"Are you sure Alice?"

"Yes. If you continue being friends with Bella, the Volturi will kill all of us. I'm sorry Edward, but you have to push her away. I know it'll hurt and you've been alone all this time, but you'll just have to wait for someone else." I stood on my tip toes to hug him.

"It's okay Alice. We were just friends. I don't love her." Edward's words surprised me. I didn't think he would have befriended a human when he didn't love her. But I was glad he didn't. It would make a cleaner break. The bell rung and we both left for our respective classes.

**BPOV**

I was sitting in Biology when Edward walked in a little late. He sat down next to me with a scowl on his face.

"I guess you didn't hear the bell ring?" I joke lightheartedly.

"Something like that." His words echo those spoken when we first met, yet this time they sound colder than his skin and detached. The teacher was still busy with the broken projector, so I figured I'd try to see what was bothering Edward.

"What's wrong, something with Alice's car?"

"Nothing is wrong with her car. I just needed some air. Look, I don't want to be friends anymore." Edward glared menacingly at me. Shocked and hurt, I refused to just bow down without some explanation.

"What? That doesn't make sense Edward. It's not like I want anything more than friendship. What's wrong?"

"It's just too much work being your friend. And I'm over it. I think it would be best if we just went our separate ways. Sorry." Edward forced out the insincere apology. Swallowing the lump in my throat I turn back forward.

"Fine. If that's what you want, so be it."

The rest of the class period is quiet. As are the following days, months. I think I was beginning to like Edward more than just friends and I was sure he was feeling the same. Either way, what hurt the most was his lack of caring. He seemed to easily forget our friendship. Yes, it was only two months but I thought our friendship was stronger than that. Time waits for no man, and I was never one to dwell on the past and I wasn't about to start now.

Eventually I did become friends with Jessica Stanley, Angela Webber and their friends. It wasn't as bad as I would have imagined. We all graduated and went our separate ways. I finally got my acceptance to a college in Northeast, Colombia, and it was about a week before I was set to leave Forks. Taking a walk through the woods, I come to an opening in the path. Standing at the opening I found myself at the old Cullen house. They left right after graduation seems like it.

My mind wanders off, thinking about what they are doing right now. More specifically what Edward was doing. Perhaps he found a girl that he felt wasn't such a chore at befriending. Feeling myself getting slightly angered, I turn back to walk back home. A man with burning red hair and a pair of matching red eyes stands before me. He smiles maniacally and runs at an alarming speed up to me. I take a step back, but before I get the chance to run the man hold me by my throat in a death grip. Holding me securely in his cold grasp, he tears into my neck, biting me. A howl is heard and he frighteningly drops me, and runs off.

I gasp for breath and feel a fire washing through my body. Somehow I manage to drag myself a little into the woods. The pain becomes overbearing and I scream out. Everything blacks out yet the pain is still just as strong. Countless hours, days pass and my eyes finally open. Taking everything in, it's as if a veil has been lifted and I'm seeing the world in perfect clarity for the first time. A tingling sensation makes itself known in the back of my throat.

A musky scent hits me like a ton of brick and before giving it a second thought I run towards it. Trees fly past me and I pounce on the defenseless bear. After I sufficiently drain it of it's life source, it's then that all the pieces fall in place. The reason for my perfect sight, hearing, the speed and strength that it took to kill this bear, and the cold, pale skin of the Cullens and now myself. I was a vampire. At least I think, the only logical choice was vampire. They were the only creature I ever heard of drinking blood, and I surely wasn't human any longer.

Is this why Edward and his family didn't want to be friends with me? Why they left in such a frenzy? I have no idea what to do now, just that I couldn't go back home. Charlie would definitely notice something eventually. Running through the forest I stop at a small lake. Leaning over I'm surprised to see what I have changed into. My skin matches that of Edward's and my mahogany hair has grown at least two inches.

The most striking feature is my eyes. They are a smoldering red color, reminiscent of the one who changed me. Noting that I didn't have to breath any longer, I test out a theory. Jumping into the lake, I immerse myself completely under the water. I can see just as well as if I was out of the lake and breathing was just as superfluous. Resurfacing, I start laughing somewhat uncontrollably. I can't believe how wonderful this all seems to be. I decide to head home, when a thought strikes me.

I can never go home again. It would be far too dangerous. I ran my hand over my face and fell to my knees. I'm all alone. What a horrible time to be alone, when time is irrelevant. Darkness falls, and I finally get to my knees. Running forth, I have no specific destination. All I know, is I have to get out of forks.

**10 years later**

Ten years have passed since I started this new life, and I'm still alone. I've come across other vampires but they were all human drinkers. I tried staying with them for a little while, but I couldn't get past their diet. It was too cruel, too disgusting. I had left America and now lived in Germany for the last 4 years. I had gotten a job as a bartender just to pass the time. Though my boss was hesitant to hire someone with no experience, I easily got the job with my…vampire charm. Two years into my new life, I had found my power. I had the ability to manipulate objects.

I was closing the bar tonight. Listening for heartbeats, I use my ability to put the glasses back on the shelves.

"You should be more careful about exposing yourself." A velvety voice breaks the silence. Rolling my eyes, I continue to replace the glasses and liquor bottles.

"What, are you the vampire police or something?" I was starting to get annoyed. "You know, we are closed. And this isn't some all you can eat buffet."

"No, the Italian thugs and I don't exactly mix. Humans aren't my type. You new to the area?" I roll my eyes. What a persistent bastard. I guess he didn't get that I didn't want to talk to him.

"I've been around for a few years. And I'm not leaving just cause you have some pissy territorial issue." I whip around and glare at him. I'm shocked to see none other than Edward Cullen standing before me but I quickly regain composure. Recognition hasn't hit Edward yet, and I take the advantage of that.

"No, I'm just surprised to see another vegetarian."

"Vegetarian? That's what we are called?" I asked, somewhat intrigued. "And what are these 'Italian thugs' you spoke of?"

He seemed surprised that I had no knowledge of any of this. "You haven't been a vampire for long I see. Come meet my family, we'll explain everything." Edward opened the bar door for me.

Stepping out into the cold night air, I see what must be Edward's car, a Vanquish. He opens the passenger door for me and runs to the driver's side. Smiling, I decide to let Edward in on the little secret.

"You ready?" He asks. Nodding, he drives off.

"So, you never told me your name by the way."

"Sorry about that, it's Edward Cullen." I cut him off before he continues to ask for mine.

"Well Edward, do you always invite yourself into stranger's bars?" I ask, a wide smile spreading across my face. His eyebrows furrow and he stares at me in frustration.

Edward looks at me uncertain. I can practically see the wheels turning in his mind. The car comes to a stop and I jump out. Walking up to the door I stop and turn back around.

"Come on Edward, you did promise to explain everything." I wink at him. Wordlessly he walks past me and opens the door for me.

"Um, come on in. Sorry, you just reminded me of someone I used to know for a moment."

**EPOV**

Walking along the streets, I sense another vampire. Curiosity strikes me and I enter the bar. I see the figure of a goddess and am frozen in place for a moment. She has yet to notice me and I'm just content to watch her putting the glasses on the shelves. The way her long mahogany hair is rustling about is mesmerizing. I have to speak to this wonderful creature.

"You should be more careful about exposing yourself." I make my presence known. She doesn't bother to turn around but I'm not discouraged yet.

"What, are you the vampire police or something?" Her beautiful voice, though riddled with exasperation, was music to my ears. "You know, we are closed. And this isn't some all you can eat buffet."

"No, the Italian thugs and I don't exactly mix. Humans aren't my type. You new to the area?" I probe her for questions. Eventually she'll have to turn around and face me. I will not give up so soon.

"I've been around for a few years. And I'm not leaving just cause you have some pissy territorial issue." She finally turns around. She sends an angry glare in my direction. Her eyes would have melted fire. I would fix that though. I was surprised that her mind was a blank to me. There was only one other person that I've ever experienced this with. This intrigued me and motivated me further.

"No, I'm just surprised to see another vegetarian." I say calmly and what I hope is friendly.

"Vegetarian? That's what we are called?" She questioned obviously naïve about our world. "And what are these 'Italian thugs' you spoke of?"

How could she not know about the Volturi? "You haven't been a vampire for long I see. Come meet my family, we'll explain everything." I open the bar door for her, pleased at the sudden turn of events.

I open the door to my Vanquish as well as hers. Settling in, I turn to face her.

"You ready?" I ask and drive off when I receive a nod.

"So, you never told me your name by the way."

"Sorry about that, it's Edward Cullen." She cuts me off before I continue to ask for her name.

"Well Edward, do you always invite yourself into stranger's bars?" She asks, a wide smile spreading across her face. My eyebrows furrow and I stares at her in frustration.

I look at her thoughtfully. I'm almost positive I heard that before. Shrugging it off, I notice the car has already stopped and the girl is already at the door.

"Come on Edward, you did promise to explain everything." She winks at me. Wordlessly I walks past her and opens the door.

"Um, come on in. Sorry, you just reminded me of someone I used to know for a moment."

**BPOV**

Stepping into the Cullen's grandiose mansion, my breath is effectively taken away at it's sight. Well, figuratively speaking. Edward calls out to the rest of his family and I walk to the living room and plop down into the seat.

Sitting back I notice Edward looking at me appreciatively. Smiling at him, I know I'm going to have some fun with this. The father figure, Carlisle comes in first and smiles genuinely at me.

"Hey everyone, I met her at a bar. She's young and I thought we could tell her whatever she wanted to know." Edward spoke concerned, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm sorry, but I never got your name before."

"It's Bella. Bella Swan." I offer smugly and hear a ring of gasps. This alone turned out better than I imagined. Their expressions were truly priceless.

"Bella…Bella from Biology?" Edward stumbled out. He moved closer and sat next to me.

"So that's how I was remembered? Bella from Biology, well I guess it does have a ring to it. I still need to know about these Italian thugs Edward spoke about." I scan everyone's faces. They are just now starting to recover. Carlisle breaks out of his stupor next and takes a seat across from me.

"Of course Bella. But how did you become a vampire, if you don't mind me asking."

"Well it was kind of ironic I guess. I was taking a walk, right before I was supposed to leave for college actually. And I ended up going through the woods in the back of my house and came out facing your old house by chance really. I don't know how long I was standing there, but I was just lost in thought I guess. Remembering when Edward and I used to be friends and…well that's not really important. When I was about to leave this man, or vampire rather, was standing there. He bit me, but when he heard this howl he dropped me like a sack of potatoes and ran.

I changed and figured I couldn't go back home. So I left Forks and just been drifting for awhile. I think this is the longest I've stayed in one spot."

"You've been alone all this time? That's horrible!" Esme expressed truly concerned. I smiled at her. I never really met her or Carlisle before and I guess I couldn't hold too much against them.

"There was this coven I tried to stay with. But, uh, our diets didn't agree. Speaking of diets, I'm positively starving." I stand and stretch my limbs.

"Feel free to hunt in the back of the house, we'll answer whatever questions you may have when you return." Carlisle promised. Nodding I turn to walk out. Edward runs out in front, opening the door for me.

"I could stand a few wolves." Edward smiled slyly at me. Moving past him, I let my hand gently slide against his chest. I hear a hiss escape his lips and I smile knowingly.

The hunt doesn't last long. On the way back, Edward stopped me and pulled me to the side. Sitting on a fallen tree trunk, I wait considerably bored. Edward paces back and forth nervously before finally settling in one space.

"Did you want to say something?" I offer.

"Yeah. I've never opened myself up like this to anyone before and I'm kind of nervous to do so now honestly. Quite frankly Bella, I love you. I love your walk, the way your hair flows, everything. Please just give me the chance to prove myself worthy of your heart." Edward spoke passionately and intense. I knew he was into me now, but I was shocked that he believed that he loved me. His eyes are imploring an answer, and I stand and turn away from him.

If only this is what he told me ten years ago. Now is just a little too late and I can't help but wonder if he'd feel the same way without me being a vampire. Something was telling me no.

"I don't get it Edward. Back when I was human, we were pretty close to being the best of friends. But all of a sudden you passed me by, never looked twice. Now I'm the girl, vampire, you want to be with. I find it funny now, that I'm the one to shut you down.

I'm sorry Edward, but I'm not interested anymore. At least not for anything more than a platonic relationship. Now, let's just go back inside and skip all the awkward words." I smile softly. Edward reminds me of a fallen god, nodding solemnly and disappointedly.

Once back at the Cullen household, everything about being a vampire was explained to me. I was even invited to stay with the Cullens as long as I desired. I did like this family so I agreed. Eventually Edward and I grew to be friends again, but nothing more. I think Edward wanted to push for more but was afraid to lose what ground he did cover with me. Perhaps I wouldn't shun the idea of us forever, but as far as the present, Edward needed to learn that he couldn't have me when he saw fit.

**((AN: I have no idea why this was sooooooooo long. I'm not thrilled with it but oh well.))**


	3. Chapter 3: Already Gone

Already Gone

Setting: New Moon. Edward is still gone. Jacob loves Bella and as much as she tries, Bella can't love him the same way.

Edward has been gone for quite some time now. Four months to be exact. The ache was getting duller with each passing day. I had been spending more time with Jacob lately. To say he was persistent would be an understatement. He made me feel just a little more whole. I loved Jacob, he was my best friend, but I don't know if I could ever get over Edward enough to be with anyone else completely. But for everything that Jacob has done for me, for all the times that he has been there for me, I owe it to him to at least give us a shot. And if I was going to move on with anyone, then who better to do so with than someone I already love?

So giving Jacob and me a chance at love seemed to work out better than I could imagine. He has been all I could ask for in a boyfriend at this point in my life. His love filled me up completely, almost. Whenever we were together, my mind felt clearer and I was at ease. Charlie was beyond thrilled that Jacob and I were dating now. Tying up my shoe laces, I run downstairs at the sound of the bell.

"Hi Jake!" I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer to him and kissed me. His hand trails upwards from my waist to my neck, just barely tracing my jaw. It didn't send chills down my spine or jumpstart my heart. Shaking my head, I silently berate myself for comparing Jacob with Edward. Jake is still here after all.

"Hello Babe, ready to go? I have something wonderful planned!" Jacob's eyes sparkled with happiness. I was glad that I could be accredited to that somewhat. He was like a burst of sunshine, and it was at times highly contagious. Jacob's hand in mine, I allow him to lead me to his car.

We drive in comfortable silence. After about 20 minutes, he tells me to close my eyes.

"Do you trust me Bells?" He asked. I frowned curious as to where this was going.

"Of course Jake."

"Alright. Now keep your eyes closed, I want this to be a surprise." I feel Jacob tying a cloth around my eyes. Moving to my side of the car, Jacob helps me up. Guiding me forward, we dodge several branches and I can feel leaves and rocks beneath my feet. Wherever we are, we aren't in town anymore. Coming to a stop, I can hear a steady stream in the distance.

"Okay, open your eyes now!" Jacob slipped off my blindfold. The sight took my breath away. My hand flies to my mouth in shock as I take in the lush greenery, and the crisp running water. The sight also stabbed me in my heart repeatedly.

"What do you think? Isn't it beautiful?" Suddenly Jacob's head seemed to morph into Edward's. I can even see that mind numbing smile of his, and that tousled bronze hair. Blinking hard, everything's normal again.

"Yeah Jake. It's amazing." I just can't summon the appropriate amount of enthusiasm. I can't believe he brought me to our meadow. Well, I mean what used to be Edward's and my meadow. My heart feels heavy all over again and I could almost swear that I feel Edward's presence here. That's why I never came back after all these months. It just hurt too much, and I couldn't find it by myself.

I recall all the moments we shared in the meadow. The very first time when Edward had tried to scare me off. Simply laying next to each other, basking in our new love under the dazzling sun. Taking a deep breath, it isn't difficult to realize that I am still madly in love with Edward Cullen and as much as it needed to, it would never change. At least not for a long time.

"What's wrong Bells?" Jacob stood in front of me, carefully holding onto both of my arms. His eyes were shadowed with concern and worry. I offer a pathetic smile and think of what to say. He's been so good to me and I have done nothing but lie to him. I can't force my feelings for Edward to morph into feelings for Jacob as much as I tried. And I really tried.

"Um. This is where Edward and I used to go to all the time. It was our spot." I mumble quietly. Breaking out of his hold, I turn away from him, too cowardly to face him.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. That was inconsiderate of me, come on let's leave. We can spend the day at First Beach. " Jacob was trying to brush over the Edward subject, understandably so. I can't keep up this charade any more. Jacob needed to have someone who loved him just as much as he would them. He deserved that and I just couldn't give him what he needed.

"Jacob. You have been nothing but considerate this whole time. And I'll always love you for that."

"Why does this sound like a swan song? Ha, get it? Swan song?" Jacob painted over his hurt in humor.

"Jacob, I never meant to hurt you. I tried to bury my feelings for Edward hoping that your love would be enough. I know you'll find someone who will love you more than you would ever dream of. You should know that you couldn't have loved me better, but were never meant for do or die. I want you to move on, so I'm already gone." I held his hand one moment longer, a stray tear falls down my cheek. Turning to walk away, I don't get too far before his voice brings me to a halt.

"So what now Bella? We go our separate ways and just be alone. Do you honestly believe that you would be happier that way?"

"Honestly? I don't think I'll ever be as happy as I was with Edward. It wouldn't be right to be with anyone when all I would be thinking about is Edward." What happened next surprised me. Jacob gathered me in his arms and we just hugged each other.

"Well now there isn't that 'what if' hanging over our head. Maybe we can't be more, but I'd like it if we could go back to being friends again."

"I'd like that a lot Jake." We broke apart and smiled. I could practically feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. And the fact that Jacob wanted to be friends again, that was simply amazing.

"Come on, I'll drive you back home."

"Actually, I think I'll just stay here for a little while."

"You sure? Cause I don't know, but clumsy Bella doesn't seem like too much of a hiker to me." Jacob laughed readily at my expense.

"Yeah, I'm not. But I think I'll manage, I'll just call Charlie if it proves too trying."

"I'll see you around then, don't be a stranger Bells." Jacob patted my shoulder one last time and walked off.

Crossing my arms, I stare off and lose myself in thought. So was this it? Maybe I would just end up spending my years alone, destined to be known as a spinster. Or even worse, as the cat lady that hands out candy at random intervals to the neighborhood kids. How could Edward just walk away from us like that? I know I didn't deserve him, but he risked so much to be with me and then just to wash his hands completely still baffled me.

"Do you think of me, like I think of you constantly Edward?" I whispered to myself.

"Always." A warm velvet voice blew on my ear. My hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I'm sure I've lost it. Just for giggles, I cautiously swirl around, and I know my eyes are deceiving me.

"Edward?"

**((AN: I just love ending one-shots in weird places where they should at least keep going for about 3 or 4 decent paragraphs. And then the readers go, WTF how is it going to end there like that? MUAHAHAHA! **

**Um. Review please? Oh and well….Of course this set in New Moon, but just forget about the whole Edward goes to Italy thing. He does leave, just not to Italy. Capiche? Lol))**


	4. Chapter 4: Love Drunk

**Chapter 2: Love Drunk**

The sight before me knocks the breath out of me and I feel like cardiac arrest is quickly approaching. Taking steady and deep breaths, I place my hands on his shoulders not allowing myself to believe the reality that Edward is in front of me.

"You're real. You're back." I mumbled mostly to myself. Edward took my hands in his and I relished the cool contrast that I had been yearning for.

"I couldn't stay away from you Bella." His eyes stabbed into mine, almost willing me to believe him. Freeing my hands from his, I wrap them around his neck and throw myself at his hardened frame. For a moment I just soak in his presence. I can feel tears cascading down my cheeks and small shivers running down my spine.

"You said I wasn't good for you. I'm still human and you're still vampire, so what changed?" I feverously wiped the tears away and took a few steps from Edward. It isn't until I manage some sort of clarity that I take in his frighteningly red eyes. My eyes widen and my heart races.

"Nothing changed. I made a horrible mistake thinking what was best and safest for you was me out of your life. Our worlds shouldn't cross Bella, but they did and the now I think what's best for the both of us is each other." Edward took a step, closing the space between us and pulled me into him.

"Edward, wha…why are your eyes red?" I mumble. Of course I know how, but I don't know why he would do something he seemed so adamant against before. I felt his nose grazing my neck and instinctually my whole body tensed.

"When we left I had to be alone. Seeing all my family coupled up only magnified my pain of being without you. I….slipped…on my time away. Which only amplifies the truth that I shouldn't be with you, but I can't be apart." His arms tightened a little around me, effectively holding me in place allowing no wiggle room. He inhaled deeply and honestly I was getting worried. I was shocked that Edward slipped. And slightly worried about myself. If my blood held a pull to him when he was on strictly animal blood, it must be a million times stronger now.

"Edward, you're hurting me." I winced as the strength of his grip increased. He immediately released me and I dropped a few inches to the ground. I wasn't even aware that he had lifted me off the ground.

"God, I'm so sorry Bella. It's just you smell so good, I…no. I want to be with you again Bella, if you'll have me, but maybe we should be apart until I can…control myself better." Edward's whole appearance was downcast instantly. He turned away from me in defeat. Running my hands through my hair, I tried to think of what to say. Now that I got him back, I did not want to be apart for any reason, however illogical this conclusion was.

"You broke my heart Edward. Each day felt like someone was pouring salt on a not so old wound. I knew I would always love you no matter the danger Edward. I knew the risks and I was willing to take them. You should have trusted me enough to know what was best for me."

"I know and I would understand it if you didn't want to give me another chance. But I just had to see you one more time. I love you, you are my universe Bella. I'm willing to beg for you to come back. I would never hurt you Bella. Even being the monster that I am, I don't think I could find it in me to hurt you." Edward was still facing away from me. The wind blew against me, twirling my hair and my scent forward. Edward's arms shot out in front of him, striking the ground. Gasping, I feel a sense of fear course through my veins, a foreign feeling that has never been connected to Edward before.

"So the lion falling in love with the lamb isn't always a walk in the park, but I couldn't love another even a fraction of the way I love you. Believe me, I've tried." I slowly walked to Edward and cautiously placed my hands around his neck.

"You've tried? With whom?" Edward asked, clearly upset that I was with someone else. Smiling a little, I think of whether or not I should tell him the whole story.

"It's not important, what matters is you and me."

"You're right. I'm sorry I just don't like sharing the love of my life." Edward smiled apologetically and pulled me closer and kissed me lightly.

"And you don't have to, as long as you stay by my side. As long as you stay where you belong. Oh and not killing me, that would be a deal breaker." I laughed into the kiss that Edward attacked me with. Swooping up, Edward cautiously hugged me before breaking apart.

"I would never kill you Bella. Please don't even jock about that."

"I'll try. But you know how much I like playing Russian roulette with my life." He winced almost immediately. "Alright, sorry."

"No more apologies, l'm sure there will be more than enough time for that some other day. Right now, I just want to love you, to cherish you." Edward twirled my hair around his fingers.

"That's all I want to."

**((AN: So review please??))**


	5. Chapter 5: correction notice

**OOPS, I MEANT TO SAY IN CHAPTER 2: Love drunk That it was part of a two shot to Chapter 3 (Chapter 1: Already Gone). I just noticed my mistake. Hope it makes more sense now….**


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